I went for a drive down the coast yesterday, with the notion of visiting my cousin, Terry. As it happened, she’d gone into the city for the day; we’d totally bypassed each other. She suggested that I go and check out this wooden cabin down the back of her property, which she had been thinking of using as an art studio. I agreed to stick my head in.
Walking up the side of her house, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of ants in her driveway… like, a lot. Wondering what this was all about, I traced a line of them back to its point of origin, at which point it became clear that the ants were coming out of the cracks around the windows. It’s an old house, so cracks harbouring insects are to be expected, but this was ridiculous.
Seriously, this could only be described as a full-on infestation. I had half a mind to get out my phone to dial up a pest control expert near Rosebud. But I decided that Terry was probably aware of the problem, and continued on down to check out the prospective studio.
The first thing I noticed was that it was more of a shed, really. The second thing was the roof had caved in on one side, which seemed like a bit of a worry if Terry was planning to use it for anything other than firewood. After a bit of poking around, I realised that the entire thing was overrun with termites. At this point, I couldn’t resist texting Terry to advise that she arrange for a termite inspection for her house, alongside the necessary ant extermination. An emergency termite inspection in Mornington shouldn’t be hard to tee up, I told her.
Well, according to her, it is too hard. She actually got quite shirty with me, saying she didn’t appreciate me telling her how to live her life. Erm, okay, Terry. I hope you enjoy your new housemates.