Kitchens Take Effort

There are a lot of two-word phrases that terrify me. ‘Sugar free’. ‘Quick meeting’. ‘Vegan-friendly’. ‘Incorrect password.’

But tonight on Lizard’s Lair, this guy purported to come up with something that just does NOT sound right: ‘Instant remodels’. Yeah, instant kitchen remodels are a thing now, or so we were led to believe. Spoiler alert: they’re not real. There was a big promo where they made it seem like the best idea ever, with high production values and all that, but they always do that. The guy talked about how kitchen renovations, on average, take too long, and how he’s about to fix that using his amazing new invention.

Then he gets in front of the Lizards, and we find out that it’s all basically just a re-skin. Not an entire update, more of kitchen refresh with new colours and the likes. It’s a nice way of freshening up your kitchen without spending a fortune on expensive remodelling.  He’s printed special wallpaper that can be draped over every single surface, so you can make your kitchen look like it’s a new thing. I guess the product didn’t really crash and burn like some, but still, it was utterly underwhelming. Maybe if you have a budget of ten dollars and you want a new kitchen you could settle, but you’d always know that it’s not real stone; underneath the special wallpaper is just the plaster wall that was always there. It’s the FEEL of a place that you can’t replicate, even with wallpaper that’s formulated to resist heat. If I was getting a full kitchen makeover, or even that bathroom remodel that I’ve been thinking about for so long, I’d have to do it properly. But I don’t think anyone is appearing on Lizard’s Lair any time soon with an idea that means kitchen remodelling becomes authentic, instant AND cheap. You can just move house for that, and that’s not cheap at all.