Why Would Anyone Leave the Congo?

As a wise man once said: “Bongo, bongo, bongo, I don’t want to leave the Congo. No, no, no, no, no, no.”

He was very insistent, but if you know his story, then you can follow his reasoning. He doesn’t want to leave the Congo, no, no, no, no, no, no, because he finds the lack of bureaucracy refreshing. Here in modern times, everything is based around tiresome things, like waiting in queues and spelling the word ‘queue’. Look at it. Just take a long, hard look, and then try to spell it without the voice in your head warbling ‘kyu-way-way-way’. I bet they don’t have time for such things in the Congo.

Then again, some people thrive off that sort of thing. I once knew a conveyancer in Brighton who basically needed paperwork to live. He was the sort who’d spend his evenings watching documentaries about the economic crisis in Uganda, and during his final years of school he took three maths subjects. It’s not really for me to judged what people like and do not like, especially when it doesn’t affect me and actually makes our strange and complicated society go round. I certainly wouldn’t know how to do conveyancing, if for some reason, all of them were raptured. Neither could I perform banking duties, real estate management, making coffee in the way that baristas do it (with all the steam everywhere) or the slaughtering of animals for meat. Cows are pretty cute, in my opinion, so I’d have my qualms about turning them into steak. But so long as it happens in a place well away from me, I’m fine with it.

So I suppose it takes all kinds to run our convoluted society. I should stop glaring at the conveyancers office in local Collingwood; it’s not their fault our society deals with so much paperwork. And so long as there are people who enjoy that sort of thing…I suppose it’s fine.

-Alister