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Property transfers? Section 32? Cooling Off Rules? You don’t scare me

In hindsight it was obvious, but at the time I had no idea. If I’d only known that step one was finding someone to translate all my questions about property conveyancing. Melbourne had been our home for almost eleven years and it was time to leave, but I hadn’t expected to feel so spun out.

The administration was craziness.  I’d left it up to my partner when the first home we purchased was sold to us- but now, it had been left up to me and I had no idea what I was doing. To be completely truthful, I didn’t  understand conveyancing at all. While I thought It was mandatory, I was surprised to learn that it was only a recommended service. And when I found out what a property conveyancer does, I couldn’t believe that some people actually go without their assistance.

First off, I’m not a law-minded person. As transfers are all about the laws regarding selling and buying homes, I knew I had to outsource right away. I found an amazing property transfer specialist in Melbourne who walked me through all the benefits and possible problems, explained the whole Section 32 thing- and helped me navigate uncharted territory with banks and agents.

I absolutely could not have done without her help.

The information my conveyancer broke down for me made everything manageable and I know that the control I gained from understanding what was happening at every stage during the sale of our home helped me remain calm and focused for my family as we planned around the sale and our interstate move. I’m feeling completely ambitious now, as though all the loose ends have been tied off and we can move on with certainty in the next phase of our lives. I know it’s not a feeling everyone is lucky to have after the sale of a house, but I feel certain that finding a great conveyancer has quite a lot to do with that.

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Heroic Conveyancing Academy: Thousand Year Land Sale Darkness Blade of Promised Destiny

I sure do love Japanese anime. In case any of you casuals aren’t aware, that’s a beautiful, superior form of animation from the greatest and most culturally-enlightened nation in the world…Japan. Man, those people just do everything right. I wish I’d been born there, but the best I can do is identify as half Japanese (my soul half).

I think my favourite part of anime is where they take a completely mundane or everyday subject- like golf, or food shopping- and turn them into a phantasmagorical adventure. As a matter of fact, ‘Ultimate Perfect Golf Hero’ is one of my faves. I like how the protagonist can activate a super mode that lowers his par, makes his club swings 60% more accurate and causes him to levitate off the ground while glowing.

My new addiction: ‘Heroic Conveyancing Academy!’

They’ve even taken property conveyancing and made it AMAZING. This one concerns a young conveyancer from Caulfield. That is, anime Caulfield, which was almost destroyed by a monster in 1975, and has now been rebuilt as a neo-metropolis where one in every ten-thousand people are born with an innate conveyancing gift. Anyway, he wins a scholarship to an elite conveyancing academy in Tokyo, where he quickly meets a group of quirky friends, gains three diverse love interests on his first day and is completely incompetent at everything, except when he activates the mysterious power inside of him that makes him one of the most powerful and efficient conveyancers in the series.

I mean, if I was a property conveyancing lawyer in real life, doing property conveyancing and stuff, I’d be really happy that my profession is being portrayed in a positive light. I think this one has a lot of Western appeal, particularly since it’s about conveyancing around Mentone and surrounding suburbs. Almost where I live! And there’s nothing better than the place where I live ALMOST being represented in a masterfully-crafted anime. Sugoi!!


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Why Would Anyone Leave the Congo?

As a wise man once said: “Bongo, bongo, bongo, I don’t want to leave the Congo. No, no, no, no, no, no.”

He was very insistent, but if you know his story, then you can follow his reasoning. He doesn’t want to leave the Congo, no, no, no, no, no, no, because he finds the lack of bureaucracy refreshing. Here in modern times, everything is based around tiresome things, like waiting in queues and spelling the word ‘queue’. Look at it. Just take a long, hard look, and then try to spell it without the voice in your head warbling ‘kyu-way-way-way’. I bet they don’t have time for such things in the Congo.

Then again, some people thrive off that sort of thing. I once knew a conveyancer in Brighton who basically needed paperwork to live. He was the sort who’d spend his evenings watching documentaries about the economic crisis in Uganda, and during his final years of school he took three maths subjects. It’s not really for me to judged what people like and do not like, especially when it doesn’t affect me and actually makes our strange and complicated society go round. I certainly wouldn’t know how to do conveyancing, if for some reason, all of them were raptured. Neither could I perform banking duties, real estate management, making coffee in the way that baristas do it (with all the steam everywhere) or the slaughtering of animals for meat. Cows are pretty cute, in my opinion, so I’d have my qualms about turning them into steak. But so long as it happens in a place well away from me, I’m fine with it.

So I suppose it takes all kinds to run our convoluted society. I should stop glaring at the conveyancers office in local Collingwood; it’s not their fault our society deals with so much paperwork. And so long as there are people who enjoy that sort of thing…I suppose it’s fine.


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Dreamhouse Overload

So my sister, Leanne, is looking to buy a house, and apparently this is the world’s biggest deal. She’s constantly plugged in to three different real estate apps, and has been texting me daily to report some new dream home she’s unearthed. To be honest, I’m sceptical about most of her finds – either they’re insanely out of her price range or there’s something seriously undesirable going on.

Over the long weekend, I finally agreed to go with her to check out a block of land south east of Melbourne. It was a cool area, but it wasn’t clear from the real estate agent’s online description whether or not it could be connected to power or support a building permit. Plus, the agent had evidently forgotten to email Leanne the Section 32 Statement. Help in Melbourne for this kind of thing can be hard to come by on a public holiday, so we were left to our devices in pondering the possibilities of this find.

With no info on hand regarding rates, zoning, building restrictions and the like, we instead turned our attention to assessing the notion of erecting a tree-house among the old trees up the back of the property. They were pretty huge, and looked relatively strong for the most part. There was one that looked like it might come crashing down at any moment, though. That got us to thinking about property insurance, and then vulnerability to bush-fires… frankly, it’s a lot to take on.

This has all made me aware of the need to get some professionals in on this action. If Leanne expects me to get knee deep in deciphering the legal ins and outs of buying property, she’s got another thing coming. Recruiting conveyancing services in Melbourne’s south-east should be her first port of call, I reckon. Let them harass the real estate agents for the vendor statement.

Meanwhile, I’ll be on hand to advise on the placement of rope ladders and flying foxes that will feature in the treehouse of dreams, which is obviously going to happen.