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Don’t be Rude

You know how some people say offensive things, and it’s rude? And misogynistic things, which are also rude? Well, how about we just mash all of these things together into one amazing combination word: rude-cist? Gosh, you’re being so very rude-cist right now. Stop being so very rude-cist, Cassandra! It would save a lot of …

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New Car For Teen?

Kids grow up so fast, don’t they? Jack is just two years off finishing her degree, and Jamie will have finished high school in mere months! Speaking of which, it’s time to start thinking about his 18th birthday present. Melissa has pointed out a small problem, though, and I’m inclined to agree. You see, when …

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Auto Blues

This peak hour traffic situation is really starting to get me down. You know what I’m talking about – all the podcasts in the world can’t overtake the fact that of how much time and energy is wasted in heavy traffic. I want to write it off as ‘just the way things are’, but I …

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Not Temperate

I think there might be something wrong with me. Not anything major – it’s just that my body temperature always seems to be out of whack with everyone else’s. For example, my wife will be going on about what a balmy night it is, while I’ll be swathed in a blanket, teeth chattering and longing …

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Neighbourly Neglect

I don’t love being prematurely woken up at the best of times, but there are some noises that are particularly unpleasant to start the day with. Take this morning, for instance, when my peaceful slumber was destroyed by my neighbours backing their boat out of their driveway with an unnecessary amount of clattering and clunking. …

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A Holding Device?

In the dark realm from which I hail, no one has even thought of them. Mostly we just carry things with our hands, and sometimes put them in our mouths when our hands are full. I don’t think anyone has thought of weaving together some sort of material structure with handles and placing things into …

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Wheeling and Dealing

Seriously? A busted tyre on a 38 degree day? The gods must be playing some kind of cruel trick on me, especially since I’m wearing my good suit – the one that only works when I’m in air conditioning. So here I am on the side of the motorway, trying to arrange a mobile mechanic …

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Scandinavian Glass

My grandma has always been a massive design nerd, especially when it comes to finishes, fixtures and furnishings. She was a ‘home economics’ (what you’d now call ‘design and technology’ or something) lecturer at a teachers’ college, and made numerous trips to Denmark and Sweden to research and collect designer homewares. Now she’s not so …

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Lighting, All Over

You know, back in the early days of Wizard Wars – I’m talking when it was first released – throwing lightning was the cool thing to do. Lightning is surprisingly inefficient method of dealing damage, but the idiot prince character that was a popular avatar at the time squealed and clapped his hands whenever anyone …

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Dangerous Shampoo, Seriously

Sometimes, you just have to go. And when your friend calls you up and says that they have tickets for the supposedly-sold out Honey Tiger concert, you HAVE to go. They weren’t front row, but close enough that I swear Honey Tiger made eye contact with me, like…twice. Maybe even MORE than twice, squee! So …

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