You know how some people say offensive things, and it’s rude? And misogynistic things, which are also rude? Well, how about we just mash all of these things together into one amazing combination word: rude-cist?
Gosh, you’re being so very rude-cist right now. Stop being so very rude-cist, Cassandra! It would save a lot of debates in our office over what constitutes an offensive statement, because you could straight up say that they’re being rude-cist and that’s it. And there, I just united our feuding office and saved productivity.
Personally, I blame Ethel for the instigation of this crisis. She was the one who stuffed the air con unit full of cloth as a protest for how people kept turning it up, and since she deals with the finances, she was becoming stressed. Well, she was pretty stressed when the boss told her to find a good air con repair person in Melbourne, pronto, because someone tried putting it on anyway and the thing caught fire. That was way back in the summer, and we had a whole week of finger-pointing and playing the blame game before it finally all came out. By that time, we had been deprived of cooling, and it was a sad, sad time for our office. There were tears, there was the gnashing of teeth, and everyone sweltered every day. The whole place descended into anarchy, and now, because of that dastardly period in which tensions were as high as temperatures, we no longer get along. The camaraderie has been destroyed, and everyone…is ruce-cist. Just, generally rude in a number of ways.
Now that we actually DID find a good company in Melbourne for air conditioning and related services, I don’t know if we can bring things back from the brink, as it were. Maybe once the summer rolls around and we can walk into the office, into the wonderful cool air, we’ll start to simmer down. But for the entire winter, simmering is what we’ll be doing.
-Alice